Inexcusable! No, wait...

According to the Onion a New Yorker recently misquoted The Princess Bride.  Inconceivable!

Not just Japan

Apparrently humorous signs can be found in other corners of the world, as well. Saw this gem in Stonehaven, Scotland. My friend Vic, the young lady in the picture, found it insulting to old people. I just found it funny.

The truth in comedy

I love the Onion, but it's a shame they have so much material for satire...

Here's one for thought: Are politicians failing our lobbyists?

I like the part at the end, about having a president identified with a logo. Like an O, perhaps?

But seriously, I don't think corporations need to worry about our politicians...they seem to be getting plenty of money from the government now.

And then there's this gem: Congressment offers preemptive apology for extramarital affair.

Don't need to comment on that, really. Our society, ladies and gentlemen.

Not enough madness in our schools

I'm not so sure about that, but I do like me a good Onion article.  Man, I gotta read some Lovecraft.

Say Cheese

It's that time again.  Yes, it's cheese-rolling time. Not to be confused with cheese-chasing time.

I'll have to look up this "Shrove Tuesday pancake race." Sounds tasty. 

The usual suspects?

I think this is worth a chuckle.

Japanese kids are comedic geniuses

Whether they know it or not, they are.  This most recent "make your own skit" activity was framed around a telephone conversation theme. There were many amusing ones, but too many for me to record without being adequately lazy. So here are a few, with very minor spelling/grammatical editing:

--1

A: Hi, this is Nakanishi. Can I talk to Tashiro, please?

B: No. This is Haru. Nakanishi, nice to meet you.

A: Haru? Who are you?

B: I'm Haru. Are you free.

A: Oh, yes. Why?

B: Because. It was love at first sight.

A: You didn't see me.

B: I saw you by sixth sense.

A: Oh, by sixth sense.

--2

A: Hello?

B: Hi, this is Risa. Can I speak to Mitsuki, please?

A: Speaking.

B: Would you like to buy something to drink?

A: No. Would you like to buy something to drink?

B: ...Ok.

--3 (Entitled "One Day...")

A: Hello?

B: Hi, this is Margret. Can I speak to Bob, please?

A: I'm sorry, he can't come to the phone right now. Because Bob is working in the park.

B: Really?

A: Yes, yes, yes.

B: I see.

A: Bye.

B: Liar!

--4

A: Hi, this is Jona. May I speak to Cully?

B: Speaking. What's up?

A: To tell the truth, I love you.

B: Oh, my God. I love you, too.

A: But. My heart is stronger than your heart.

B: No!! My heart's stronger.

A: No!!

B: No!!

A: Sorry. I lose...

B: Thank you.

A: I love you... I love you...

B: I love you too...

A: Good bye.

B: See ya.

--5

A: Hello? This is Cow.

B: Hi, this is Pony.

A: Would you like to buy some milk?

B: No, thanks. I have milk. Goodbye.

--6

A: Hello?

B: Hi, this is your son.

A: What?

B: This is your son!

A: Oh! John?

B: Yes! This is John!!

A: I have no son. Goodbye.

--7

A: Hello?

B: Hi, I am your son.

A: Is your name Taro?

B: Yes. Yes! I am Taro! Now I don't have a job. I lost my job.

A: Please give me money?

B: Um...sure. How much?

A: About a million yen. Ok?

B: Sure. I'll give you money.

A: Thank you. I respect you.

B: You're welcome.

--My Thoughts--

I know they were just using phrases we taught them, but the usage in some of these cases is great. Take #4: a passionate conversation about the depths of their love, ended with "see ya."

Although there is something slightly sinister about #3 (obviously Margaret knows something that leads her to believe Bob is not at the park after all) and I also enjoy a good skit about a mother either disowning her son or earning his respect by giving him money, I think my favorite is #2. I like how Mitsuki turns the sales deal around on Risa (why is she selling a drink over the phone in the first place?).

Anyway, this is my reward for a lesson well-taught.

Lord of the Rings - Voiceover

Heh heh...

Watch out for zombies on the road

Chuckle.

The Onion gets it right on Israel

BAM.

Lemons into Lemonade

People don't often feel bad for telemarketers, but at least it's an honest living, right?

Even so, this is pretty funny...

Edit: 

Actually, this guy is kind of an asshole.

Bathroom for rent

I just can't tell whether this is a joke or not, but it's funny either way.

Bathroom for rent

Great Headline

Agree or not, this is a winning headline.

Updates

So I'll have a new Jukin' Japan coming out within the next few days. Meanwhile, a few links for your entertainment:

(Video game stuff):

Red Shells 

Get Stuck!

(Memorium):

Remember the anniversary of Pearl Harbor.

(Outrage!):

What the hell - they took out "elf," "dwarf," and "goblin." Those pompous bastards.

Mustache

Mustache indeed. I love how the host (or interviewer; whoever he is) just rolls with it.

Not going to get into a religious/political commentary or debate on this one, but just wanted to point out that Chuck Norris has thrown another observational political roundhouse. I didn't realize he was so outspoken.

Wow

That's great - almost as catchy as the original(...?).

More stupendous stories

Edit: 11:07 pm JST - Added "Yankin it in Europe" to my "Other Places to See" column.

I just wanted to share some more awesome writings 'a la my students.

Let me emphasize that I am not making fun of them at all. Mistakes are the cornerstone of language education. We learn from them and they can be pretty damn funny. I've been learning Japanese for over four years, and I still say a lot of stupid stuff. That said, this is one of the reasons I love teaching a lot of these kids - they often surprise me with their creativity and sense of humor.

This assignment was part of a lesson on ordering food in English. Students worked in pairs for about 10 minutes to come up with their own mini-skits. Here are some of the results:

1.

Waiter (W): Hellow, welcome to Namizu's Restaurant. May I take your order?

Customer (C): Can I see a menu Please?

W: Sure

C: I'd like you Please.

W: Perdon?

C: I'd like you Please!

W: Yes!

C: Really?!

W: Yes, I love you.

C: Let's go to your house.

Soon hug forever... -end-

2.

W: Hello! Welcome to Friend's. I take your order

C: Yes, can I have a steak please? But don't made in China.

W: Sure Would you like some thing to drink?

C: I'd like a cola please

But don't made in China

W: Anything else

C: No thank you that's it

W: Thank you?

3.

W: Good morning, welcome to MacDonald. May I take your order?

C: Can I see a menu, please?

W: Sure

C: I'd like egg mcmuffin

W: Would you like something to drink?

C: I'd lik a cola, please

W: Anything else?

C: I'd like a smile, please.

W: Sure.

These kids have clearly mastered the art of comical writing. I especially love how the two who wrote #2 don't trust China. Questioning the quality/safety of Chinese goods is almost always funny. Unless you live in China.

I also had a pair adapt a skit to ordering gas, and I had another pair who wrote something similar to #3, except in their version after the customer orders a smile, the waiter gets pissed off and yells at the customer to leave.

Anyhow, that's about it for now.

If I can muster the free time soon, I plan on attempting some video blogs. I've been inspired by a friend of mine, so let me just take the time to plug Rob's video blog: Yankin' it in Europe: An American Guide to Studying Abroad. I should note that it pertains largely to studying in Europe, although I can vouch for the fact that some of his suggestions and observations do hold relevance in other regions (like Japan), as well. I would recommend checking it out - Rob has a good knack for combining humor with interesting facts and tidbits. And honestly, his videos and camera techniques are improving with each episode. If you're interested in London or international, uh, stuff - check it out.

Winners and Losers

I think it's safe to say that this past Tuesday produced some very clear winners and losers. There is celebration; there is bitterness. Time will tell if wounds will heal.

For the town of Obama in Japan, it is a happy time. The town of some 32,000 people hasn't been in the limelight like this since...well, ever. Nor will it likely ever be again. Ok, Obama - enjoy it. You've earned it, by coincidentally having the same name as the wildly popular US President-elect. Well done. And I'm sure Barrack will be quite pleased with that statue of him you're building. 

Meanwhile, McCain Foods LTD. has, quite gracefully, let Obama, Japan enjoy this victory. In a 

classy display of optimism, McCain recently released the following statement: "McCain Foods opens new Florenceville plant."

I'm sure it would have been nice to have your name attached to the highest office in the land, McCain, but now it's time to fall back 

and lick your wounds. Yes, lick those tasty, tasty wounds.

The world hails its savior...

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=081105070505.sjsfsgyt&show_article=1

This is my favorite line:

"'Because Obama has won, we will have a change in the whole world. And for that I will slaughter a cockrel to celebrate with my family,'" said Joseph Otieno, a jubilant Kogelo resident."

Picture of the Day 10/28/08

"Black and Milk Candy." Apparently "black" is a flavor over here. Ah - perhaps that is the taste that only Japanese people can detect. 

"Brown sugar and milk harmonize with marble colors. This is the secret method of delicious taste." -- You mean this was the secret method of delicious taste. It's not exactly a secret anymore, now is it? -- Gotcha!